


jump it!

by frenchleaves



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Narrator is disturbed by "glowing eyes", OC only in the first chapter, Obito moans unconsciously when jumped, One Whole Heroin, Secret Santa Fleapaths 2018, Sink – Freeform, The second one has an actual name teehee sorry, Uchihas are all crackheads, fleapaths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 06:29:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17136719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frenchleaves/pseuds/frenchleaves
Summary: y/n is just trynna live her life. then she gets jumped by shisui in her own bathroom.





	1. Chapter 1

It was 2am, but y/n knows she’s about to get jumped,  _ again.  _

 

Eyes follow her movements as her hands shakily move towards the toilet paper right next to her. The glowing eyes follow her even behind the blinds, which she had closed at the first indication that someone was just outside the window of her bathroom. It was eerie, for they kept close track of everything y/n was doing, which was weird because she was just trying to take a shit. 

 

The toilet seat is still freezing cold, and considering it was 2am on December, everything y/n touched was fucking cold. But even then, the toilet seat was  _ especially  _ cold. The eyes still follow her movements, and y/n thinks that maybe it’s weird that glowing eyes are just outside her bathroom window, but it’s kind of not the weirdest thing that has ever happened to her. After all, y/n does get jumped every other day, and her new sink whispers in the evenings. They had stolen it from the bathroom of a Krispy Kreme, so maybe it is that.

 

After she completes her goal in the bathroom, y/nquickly flushes the toilet and cleans her hands (she is a citizen  of the world and shall not have dirty hands, who do you take her for,  _ Naruto? _ ). That’s when everything goes wrong. The blinds recoil onto themselves as if scared into retreat, and the glowing eyes become even more radiant against the stark darkness. The bushes from which the eyes come on start to shake, and after twenty long seconds, they hatch. 

 

What comes out is not what y/n expects. 

 

The window of the bathroom bursts open and a man comes in and jumps her. He’s kind of short, and definitely has spaghetti arms, but what really takes the cake are the glowing eyes. He’s right on top of y/n, glowing eyes piercing her own. 

 

“Oh,” he says, looking around in wonder. “I thought this was Obito’s room, I’m sorry!”

 

Y/n tilts her head in confusion, a tremendous feat considering she’s under a heavy person and literally almost cannot breathe. “Who’s Obito? Is that some drug dealer i didn’t know of or summ?”

 

“No,” the man scoffs and explains, “He’s like, my seventh cousin. A crackhead. He’s very dirty. You’re obviously not him ‘cause I know that whenever he’s jumped he unconsciously moans, and well, you didn’t.”

 

“Sure,” y/n says, “Who are you?”

 

“No one,” the man says mysteriously, for a second making jazz hands, “But you can call me Shisui.” He then proceeds to wink. 

 

Y/n takes a second to think that that was somehow both hot and gross at the same time. “Can you please get off me, bitch? The floor’s almost as dirty as you. And what the fuck were you doing hiding in some bushes. Those are  _ my  _ bushes. I’ve hidden about twenty kilos of stolen stuff there. My territory, dumbass.”

 

Shisui looks taken back for a moment. “Wow, calm down Sasuke kin. Stressing out is bad for you. Makes the blood vessels in your eyes pop.” He rubs one glowing eye, “I’d know about that personally.” 

 

Well, that’s ominous. 

 

“Whatever fag, you can stay here for a while if you want, but don’t listen to the sink. He says absolute nonsense. If you’ve got any heroin, please donate it for dinner, and just like..wash ya’ hands,”

 

Shisui nods. “I got that, crackie, lemme know which kinda heroin you want and i’ll pass you the needle.”

 

The girl then adds: “You also gotta fucking explain the glowing eyes. Those are creepy as fuck, dude.” Shisui, the man with the glowing eyes, just nods and turns them off. What the fuck. 

 

“What the fuck,” says y/n.

 

And that was the start of a beautiful friendship. 

  
  



	2. h.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is the same as the first chapter mind you, only with an actual name. if you actually read this I'm so so sorry

It was 2am, but Rynn knows she’s about to get jumped,  _ again.  _

 

Eyes follow her movements as her hands shakily move towards the toilet paper right next to her. The glowing eyes follow her even behind the blinds, which she had closed at the first indication that someone was just outside the window of her bathroom. It was eerie, for they kept close track of everything Rynn was doing, which was weird because she was just trying to take a shit. 

 

The toilet seat is still freezing cold, and considering it was 2am on December, everything Rynn touched was fucking cold. But even then, the toilet seat was  _ especially  _ cold. The eyes still follow her movements, and Rynn thinks that maybe it’s weird that glowing eyes are just outside her bathroom window, but it’s kind of not the weirdest thing that has ever happened to her. After all, Rynn does get jumped every other day, and her new sink whispers in the evenings. They had stolen it from the bathroom of a Krispy Kreme, so maybe it is that.

 

After she completes her goal in the bathroom, Rynn quickly flushes the toilet and cleans her hands (she is a citizen of the world and shall not have dirty hands, who do you take her for,  _ Obito? _ ). That’s when everything goes wrong. The blinds recoil onto themselves as if scared into retreat, and the glowing eyes become even more radiant against the stark darkness. The bushes from which the eyes come on start to shake, and after twenty long seconds, they hatch. 

 

What comes out is not what Rynn expects. 

 

The window of the bathroom bursts open and a man comes in and jumps her. He’s kind of short, and definitely has spaghetti arms, but what really takes the cake are the glowing eyes. He’s right on top of Rynn, glowing eyes piercing her own. 

 

“Oh,” he says, looking around in wonder. “I thought this was Obito’s room, I’m sorry!”

 

Rynn tilts her head in confusion, a tremendous feat considering she’s under a heavy person and literally almost cannot breathe. “Who’s Obito? Is that some drug dealer i didn’t know of or summ?”

 

“No,” the man scoffs and explains, “He’s like, my seventh cousin. A crackhead. He’s very dirty. You’re obviously not him ‘cause I know that whenever he’s jumped he unconsciously moans, and well, you didn’t.”

 

“Sure,” Rynn says, “Who are you?”

 

“No one,” the man says mysteriously, for a second making jazz hands, “But you can call me Shisui.” He then proceeds to wink. 

 

Rynn takes a second to think that that was somehow both hot and gross at the same time. “Can you please get off me, bitch? The floor’s almost as dirty as you. And what the fuck were you doing hiding in some bushes. Those are  _ my  _ bushes. I’ve hidden about twenty kilos of stolen stuff there. My territory, dumbass.”

 

Shisui looks taken back for a moment. “Wow, calm down Sasuke kin. Stressing out is bad for you. Makes the blood vessels in your eyes pop.” He rubs one glowing eye, “I’d know about that personally.” 

 

Well, that’s ominous. 

 

“Whatever fag, you can stay here for a while if you want, but don’t listen to the sink. He says absolute nonsense. If you’ve got any heroin, please donate it for dinner, and just like..wash ya’ hands,”

 

Shisui nods. “I got that, crackie, lemme know which kinda heroin you want and i’ll pass you the needle.”

 

The girl then adds: “You also gotta fucking explain the glowing eyes. Those are creepy as fuck, dude.” Shisui, the man with the glowing eyes, just nods and turns them off. What the fuck. 

 

“What the fuck,” says Rynn.

 

And that was the start of a beautiful friendship. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This is for Secret Santa. Rynn I'm Sorry.


End file.
